Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Suckage of RSS subscription

NOT yours. So you don't have to get all indignant and outraged and sulky now. In fact I do subscribe to quite a few of your feeds and it is solely because of them that I am shown the utter slothfulness and error of my blogger ways. I am also astounded by how quickly and frequently you are all able to update your blogs, almost on a daily and for the super-humans amongst us, bi-daily basis too. It is enough to put this girl to shame.

After much gnashing of teeth and the downing of gallons of Caramel Baileys later, I made the grave and final decision to remove forever, the RSS *subscribe to me* box. It just doesn't seem to be serving any sort of purpose and worse, it leads to unrealistic expectation swhich I could never, no matter how willing the spirit is, be able to fulfil. I know what it's like to be let down and why would I do that to you? YOU, the paragon of all that is sweet and good. I could never.

I hate Wordpress. I really do. Not to be repetitive or anything (which by the mere mention of my absolutely justified, negative feelings about WP, I already am being, so just fking bear with me here) but even after spending hours heaped upon hours heaped upon days, I'm still no where near grasping it. I never claimed to be css/html-savvy but rumour has it that WP is such a piece of cake that you could master it with one hand bound behind your back, watching Boston Legal (if the show ever stopped, I might just cease to exist) whilst prying apart durians that being the loser that I am, always usually are opened by the durian uncle in a half-assed manner which is why prying is required of you in the first place.

It is a lie. An outright deception of the most devious kind. You see, you'd never know they were lying when you look at their blog, which in all their elegant, multi-bar, widgetized glory, belies the effort that goes into putting it all together and making it look so fking simple and simplified to the nth. And they don't want you to know either. After spending x amount of hours googling theme installation, plug-ins installation, widget-installation, you spy that just-kill-me already button and feel almost tempted to grab it, but wait! you then spot yet another site that promises to be The N00b guide to all Things WP and unable to resist the siren call that is the WP helping hand, of course you had to pop on over. I'm sure Tim has helped thousands along the way since the article appeared in 20o6 but as stoic and earnest as I am, he failed where I, an obviously sucky, unteachable WP student was concerned. I'm sorry.

But hope! springs eternal. Right?? I mean, if I am still able to blab on chirply as I have after being sleepless for 29.65 hours and counting, then surely, this is hope talking.

Definitely hope, most definitely not Flunitrazepam because I am apparently, impervious to most benzodiazepams and no I was not told that bloody Rohypnol (which just occurred to me that since roofies don't affect me at all unless consumed in mad quantities, I am thus date-ravage-proof, now how many of YOU can lay claim to that?) is part of the benzo family until after I had it in my grateful hands, which by then, I couldn't care less; even if I did and still do abhor almost all benzo pharmaceutical shite. Sadly, Zolpidem is not something I can afford. Not at the amount I need. What?

Back to hope and whatnot, if this wtf-inducing graphic is not irrefutable proof of sunshiny hope in full, glorious bloom, then damn, I don't know what is.

I dare you to steal my stuff!

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